Remember The Scientist Who Jerked Off A Dolphin? Well Her Co-Worker Also Experimented With Dolphins But By Giving Them LSD

Gawker- If you thought the story about the woman who regularly jerked off her dolphin friend/test subject Peter was twisted, get a load of what else happened to the dolphins in that experiment. As detailed in BBC Four’s The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins, which aired tonight in the U.K., John C. Lilly was a scientist who started studying three dolphins in a partially flooded villa on St. Thomas dubbed “the dolphin house.” A lot of these experiments revolved around dolphin communication—specifically, Margaret Howe Lovatt (the titular girl who talked to dolphins…sometimes with her hand) attempted to teach English to her beloved Peter. As the experiment went on, Lilly decided to dose the two dolphins who weren’t Peter with LSD, and then when that proved ineffective, he used a jackhammer near where they were swimming to get some sort of a response. That didn’t do anything either except show to the world that LSD is a hell of a drug in the hands of a mad scientist.

So KFC blogged about these dolphins and scientists about a week ago.  There’s a documentary airing on BBC about these NASA people back in 1960’s experimenting with dolphins in different ways or something.  I guess it’s mostly about how one of the lady scientists got a little too friendly with a dolphin named Peter and started jacking him off on the regular.  No big deal (actually pretty awesome if you ask me.  Get it where you can.  Expect fish blow jobs ).  A little love between a dolphin and her owner never hurt anybody.  Especially since it was consensual.  This lady was doing it for science and to further human understanding and Peter the dolphin was doing it to get his.  No harm no foul.  Well it turns out that another scientist in that same group was doing his own set of experiments.  But instead of giving the dolphins middle school hand jobs he was feeding them LSD and seeing how they’d react.  And guess what?  They reacted.  They reacted by behaving abnormally and swimming in weird patterns and having an all out awesome time.  I don’t know shit about shit but I guarantee swimming around while on acid has to be one hell of a good time.

Now some animal activists are sure to cry foul in this situation but they’re clearly idiots.  I don’t what you consider the perfect life to be but getting jerked off by a sassy lady scientist and being fed drugs that send you to a different-yet-awesome planet ranks right up there for me.  That’s the life.  If there’s some piece of government paper I can sign to get that deal, hit me up.  I’ll take that deal in a second.  Drop everything and move to a secret government facility.  I’m not saying that I want to be a dolphin but I want to be a dolphin.